Sam and Todds African Adventure.

Perth, Australia

Sun, 29 May 2016 12:00:00 +0800

Johannesburg, South Africa

Fri, 27 May 2016 12:00:00 +0200

Zanzibar Island, Tanzania

Tue, 24 May 2016 12:00:00 +0300

Arusha National Park, Tanzania

Thu, 19 May 2016 12:00:00 +0300

Lake Manyara National Park, Tanzania

Wed, 18 May 2016 00:00:00 +0300

Don't leave your bloody doors open. There's monkeys and stuff here. Sam thought someone had put a statue in the doorway which scared the shit out of Todd which in turn scared the shit out of the poor monkey sitting there. Lol. All good. It's travel day again and we've got places to go. We left early and Benson was wearing his lead shoes. Fuck man, we scorched across Amboseli in a few hours. We gave up looking at wildlife early because it was pointless. We'd point out an eleph....there's a zebr........ never mind. We slept instead. We had to get up to the border so he and Alex could transfer us over to the Tanzanian mob and they weren't missing the deadline. Who could blame them? As guides they live, breathe, drive and answer our idiot questions while 1000's of kays away from their families. We hit the border just on 9:00am and went about the usual formalities. It sucks every time but it's kinda fun too. Everyone has to do it so you just suck it up and try and do it better than the rest of the fools there. Sorry, ask us about it sometimes. We've got plenty of stories by now that you wouldn't believe. The exit side over and done with, we bid farewell to Alex and Benson and jumped into a new bus. See ya Kenya and g'day Tanzania. And hello immigration 100 metres down the road. Let's do it all again. How the hell we don't know our passport numbers off by heart now is actually beyond us. At least we can get rid of the women selling stuff easily. Watching them harass the others in the bus while we wait for Jo to get her Tanzanian visa is pretty amusing too. It's the first time we've all been in the same vehicle since the safari began and while we don't find it uncomfortable, it's just not our scene. Still, it's how it is so that's that. Everyone gets cleared and we're off. There's hardly any rubbish here in Tanzania. But there's still speedhumps. And cops. There's more cops than speedhumps and they do more than speedhumps to fuck the traffic up. Tanzanian cops are money grubbing pricks and they're not shy about it. Why should they be? Who's going to pull them up about it? They have "checkpoints" everywhere and pull up cars, trucks, buses and taxis at will. They'll pull up someone for no reason while another car flies through at twice the speed limit. We got done about 45 minutes from the border and it took ages. In our case though it was a bit funny. Our driver got pinged for a unpaid fine and we reckon he had to maybe pay a little more for that indiscretion than planned. We ended up at a coffee park after all was settled for lunch and to meet our new drivers. We had a new seating plan too. A new person was joining us so Kev and Del, the Aussies from QLD, would be travelling with us. The new guy, Harris, was a yank so, to be honest, he could fuck right off in the other 4WD as far as we were concerned. It might sound harsh but hey....... we don't care. Moody was our new driver. We liked him from the start. We left Arusha at a crawl. It seems we had nothing planned for the arvo so Moody did 40km/h on main roads. It wasn't what we expected but once again, it was what it was so we just kicked back and enjoyed the view. Kilimanjaro is actually in Tanzania and, even though it's better viewed from Kenya, it's ranges make up a vast part of where we were driving through. Up on one of the hills we passed was a small village. It turns out it belonged to a Masai King. This bloke had 90 wives and concubines and over 120 children. He seemed friendly though. Moody told us he was more than happy to lend the odd wife or two to his mates. Alrighty then.... as you do. It wasn't a long drive to our next stop thankfully. We arrived at Lake Manyara lodge around 3ish and wasted no time settling in. Not much more to report from today really so we'll leave it there.

Amboseli, Kenya

Tue, 17 May 2016 00:00:00 +0300

Some days start better than others. And some some days start perfect. We'd traveled metres and minutes and we already had dream pics. Kilimanjaro was perfectly clear. Not a cloud in sight. A giraffe had crossed the road in front of us and posed patiently while Todd got amazing photos. We hadn't even reached Amboseli National Park yet. It's front gates were only a few kays down the road and while Benson did the necessary paper work, we fended off the Masai training to sell us beads and assegais. Imaging going through customs with one of them. An American was in another 4WD and getting really irate at them because, get this, they didn't fully understand US states. Good going Mr America. Amboseli isn't a big park and it isn't all that pretty either. Elephants have basically destroyed it and there isn't too many trees left that they haven't pushed over. There's a few waterholes, a swamp and a small lake which once again the flamingoes have given up on. It has big plains and a lot of antelope and monkeys and of course the elephants we just mentioned. It can get away with its lack of charm though. When you have Kilimanjaro and friends as your backdrop, you can be whatever sort of park you want. The drive was good fun. We stopped at some cool spots and got some excellent photos. One lodge that we passed had been abandoned and baboons had taken over. Apparently there had been a legal dispute so the owners basically walked away and left it in perfect running order. Lunch was in order and it was something we'd both been looking forward to for weeks in advance. A picnic with the mountain in the background. They must have had people drive out from the lodge to set it up. We headed to the observation hill and were handed a box each. A box that had been sitting on the front passenger floor all morning in the sun. That was our "picnic"? We trekked up to the top of the hill with our lunch. The view was good. The contents of our picnic box wasn't. Last nights chicken wrapped in foil, delicious stale chips, a brown banana, a to die for bread roll from last week that could easily be used as a solid projectile in case elephants rampaged, melted chocolate and a cake that was carefully hand made by the Virgin Mary herself. Anytime we mention a "picnic lunch" from here on in, just think of food served at a government funded boarding school for the orphans of third rate hookers. The view was pretty awesome but. Treeless plains on all sides leading to waterholes and lakes and lots of animals doing their thing. We trekked back down and continued our game drive for a couple of hours before heading back to the lodge. Benson was tired from yesterday's drive still and we weren't faring much better. We set up in the beer garden and watched a family of banded mongoose playing about while the vervet monkeys ran amok in the trees above. Todd went down to get the tablet so we could sort out the days pics and caught a couple of monkeys getting it on in the foyer where we had been sitting the night before. The doorman just rolled his eyes and walked off. Lol. God we love this place. See you all tomorrow. It's another huge travel day.

Kilimanjaro at dawn.

Giraffe in the way of Kilimanjaro.

Helloooooooo!

Alex.

Ephalumps.

Weaver bird.

Hippos in the heat.

Vervet Monkeyb

Baby Ellie.

Amboseli.

Amboseli, Kenya

Mon, 16 May 2016 12:00:00 +0300

You all know the usual morning routine on travel days so we'll skip that bit. Today we're heading to Amboseli via Lake Naivasha and Nairobi. Driving out of Nakuru this morning was unreal. A heavy mist had settled throughout the valley surrounding the lake and it made it look like a whole new world. We stopped for a while and watched a hyena checking out a herd of impala. S/he was running about the place spooking them while jumping up and down to spot any signs of weakness. Nothing much was going to happen so we moved on towards the exit of the park and headed down to Lake Naivasha. There needs to an editorial note made here sorry. Masai Mara is to the south, not north, of Nakuru so today we're heading south and yesterday we drove north. Being a tourist is hard sometimes. We're putting this error squarely on the fact we've been exposed to Yanks. True story. A long boat was waiting for us at Naivasha and the trip around the lake was good fun. Here's a fun fact too. In 2013 there was a shift in tectonic plates through the Great Rift Valley which led to a dramatic rise in the water levels in the lakes. Lodges have been abandoned and roads have been reclaimed. Taking photos of hippos with power lines above them leading to nowhere was pretty strange. As was the fact that forests surrounding the lakes were now dead. The flamingos which once inhabited the area were long gone too which was fine by us. After an hour on the water we hopped back into the 4WD's and continued on towards Nairobi via the high road up on the wall of the Great Rift Valley. Lunch in Nairobi was pretty basic but our mime show with the bank teller was a unique experience to say the least. After lunch we headed down to Amboseli on Mua Road. Remember that name because it should be called the "Road Of A Thousand Near Deaths". It's fucking insane. Mua is a two lane road from Mombasa to Nairobi and is the main trucking route. Neither of us knew so many trucks existed let alone had exclusive rights to every piece of road under its wheels. We gave up being scared after 10 minutes and 8 million near head ons. No one cared about road rules or what was coming at them. Despite steep embankments on both sides, going 3 wide and passing on the inside wasn't an issue. Busses fought to get ahead of each other and it was obvious that they had a long standing competition going on. Benson was just as bad. He drove like a cool headed maniac and we loved every second of it. We even nodded off a few times. Hakuna Matata. After a brief stop and another short stint on Mua we turned off onto the road to Amboseli. It was only a few minutes down the track where we had an extreme close call. Sam swore and Benson had to swerve hard. Todd had full view of a trucks rear wheel only centimetres from his face but all was ok. Just. Mount Kilimanjaro slowly came into view as we got closer to our new home for the night. It was covered by cloud but still awe inspiring. What impressed us most was that this massive peak we were looking at was only the smaller of the two. Finally we arrived after an 11 hour haul. We were knackered and can't imagine how Benson must have been feeling. He put in a huge effort and it was much appreciated. A few pics were taken of the Mountain as at this time of year it's often obscured by clouds for days at a time and Todd wasn't going to miss it. We hooked up with Jo at the bar and swapped near miss stories and called it a night soon after. Yet again, our African adventure had surpassed the previous day.

Sunrise over Nakuru.

Rothchild Giraffe b

Snooze time.

Nakuru.

Python.

Nairobi slums.

Its baby sister.

Mount Kilimanjaro

Narok, Kenya

Sun, 15 May 2016 12:00:00 +0300

Ouch. Last night was bigger than we thought it seems. We packed early and prepared for a long day of travel. Walking into the bar on our way to reception we were greeted with "pyshaa" and "morning Buntie!" Oh gawd. It seems we've left our mark on the Masai Mara Sopa Lodge. The staff wanted us to stay another night and as fun as that would've been, our adventure was leading us south to Lake Nakuru. The 4WD's were packed and we headed off down "Car Crash Road" again. Benson must have caught wind of what we'd been up to the night before because we're sure he found extra pot holes to hit. Finally we exited the main gates of the park and kicked up dust on "smooth" roads. Our first stop was a school that was co-funded by Alex, the driver of the second vehicle. What an eye opener. The buildings were modern by Kenyan standards but so simple. Education is really a big thing here and they understand that the kids are the future of the country. To think that pre-school and primary school aged kids walked up to 10km's through lion country kinda sits you on your arse. It also made us realise that it was Sunday too. Bloody hell. What a week. On to Narok next and tar roads. Woohoo. We stopped at a little curio shop to use the "wash rooms" (dunnies) and stretch our legs. The church next door was packed and the woman singing gospels nearly brought a tear to our eyes. No seriously, she was fucking terrible and leaving there truly was a gift from God. Heading south was awesome. The country side changes quickly and dramatically. Open plains and farm land to heavily wooded hills all dotted with villages and shanty towns. And speed humps. Kenyans love speed humps. A lot. Apart from tea, Kenya is a major producer of roses for Europe and some of the farms sprawl over hectares which we thought was pretty cool. The best part of the drive though was the people. They're just so incredibly happy. We took to waving at the kids and shouting out "Jambo" and "habari" while they ran along and waved and shouted back. Amongst all the rubbish and squalor, the spirit of Kenyans shone bright and it was yet another highlight of our trip. We finally reached Nakuru and headed into the park to our lodge. It's built on the side of a hill overlooking the lake and it's breathtaking. If nothing else, Sopa knows how to build amazing lodges. Our game drive started at 4 and we were both pretty excited about it. Todds mind was elsewhere for the start of it but as the wildlife started coming thick and fast he snapped out of and started taking pics and videos. It was raining heavily as we drove through the rainforest and it added to the beauty of it. There's not many lions at Nakuru so the buffalo are pretty relaxed around waterholes. Except the two we came across soon after. These guys were having a full on fight and neither was going to back down. We stopped and videoed it and if we could get David Attenborough to do the commentary it would be a box office hit. They went so hard that both were crapping the whole time and covering themselves with it. It's going to be titled "The Great Nakuru Shit Fight". We left them to it after about 10 minutes and carried on. We rolled past zebra, impala, eland, giraffe, buffalo, crested cranes and baboons. Benson parked up and pointed out 5 White Rhinos. We got some amazing pics but things were about to get better. A lioness walked out with two young cubs and headed towards the road. The rhinos weren't going anywhere so we followed her snapping pics and taking video. Other safari 4WD's blocked our way so we backed up to check out the rhinos again and ..........Shit! A huge lion emerged just near our car and stopped for a drink. We got amazing photos and if you want to accuse us of downloading them from the net we won't blame you at all. He wasn't fazed by us and at one point we could've reached out and touched him. What a moment for us. Rhinos a hundred metres away, a huge lion beside the car and a lioness with two cubs off to our left. Camera meltdown at its best. We headed back to the lodge for a feed as it was nearing dark. Suppose you could say we had a pretty ok sort of a day. Oh, by the way. Wifi is pretty weak and global roaming is too expensive so we can't upload pics. You Perth mob can see them when we get back. Anyone else can just ask Todd via twitter and he'll happily post what he can for you.

Jambo!!

Kenya. Its a bin.

Dead forest on Nakuru.

The Great Nakuru Shit Fight

Rain makes good pics of Zebra.

White Rhino, Nakuru.

Its a lion. Its thirsty.

Lion.

Narok District, Kenya

Sat, 14 May 2016 00:00:00 +0000

Hot Air Ballooning is awesome fun! It's nothing like we imagined and to do it over the Masai Mara just made it better. We thought it was just floating along slowly and peacefully over the plains and whatnot. Nope. It's noisy and pretty bloody speedy. And that big flame thing above your head? It's hot as hell. We'd left the lodge at 4:30am and been pummelled again over that bloody rough road for two hours before we got there. Once everyone else turned up we received our safety briefing and bused a short distance to our take off site. The crew inflated the balloon and we climbed in not knowing what to expect. The basket is on its side by the way. We were both laying on our backs looking up into the sky with a huge flame roaring beside us while we pissed ourselves laughing. Our pilot pulled the pin to the rope holding us down and we were off. The flight plan was simple. We went up, went where the wind took us while the ground crew followed and then went down. What could go wrong with that? The next hour really was incredible fun. We skimmed over treetops and rivers and soared high up over the plains. Everytime the burners lit up it roared and made us feel like our heads were going catch on fire. Filming and watching wildlife from the air is so unique and our time went too quicky. Our landing was amongst zebra, banded mongoose and wilderbeast on a plain miles away from where we'd taken off from. Breakfast was waiting only a few minutes down the road and we can tell you one thing for certain. Champagne and Bloody Mary's and a full cooked breakfast out there is unbeatable. The early morning drive back to the main tour group was pretty pleasant with a stomach full of food and drink. We took photos at will and enjoyed the journey over ever changing landscape until we caught up with our safari group at a nearby lodge. They'd been over the same ground we'd all covered the afternoon before and, apart from seeing a cheetah in the distance, they had nothing much to report. We drove back to our lodge the same way and called past where the buffalo had been fighting for his life a few hours before. He didn't look like he'd had a very good night. Actually, we both think the Bush Vet must have had the night off. Pity really. Getting back to the lodge was a relief. We decided against the afternoon game drive and hit the bar. Our last night at Masai Mara was awesome. Everyone else hit the sack early (as per usual) but we had a ball. Tomorrow is another day.

Over the plains.

Aireal shot.

Inside the balloon.

That thngs hot!

From the air.

Driving back to the lodge.

Narok District, Kenya

Fri, 13 May 2016 12:00:00 +0000

Thirteen days on Safari starting today. Wow. Neither of us knows what to expect at all. We know where we are going but they're just names of places to us. It's the usual morning routine of packing and breakfast before meeting our guide, Benson, in the foyer. There's five others with us between two 4WD's. An Aussie couple, one lady from France, a Chilean woman and an Irish American Irish bird who seemed ok. We all packed and headed out just after 7am. Here we go! Driving out of the hotel and into the streets of Nairobi for the first time is a slap in the face. The roads are a ruin and if it isn't a section filed with potholes then there's a bloody speedhump. Honestly. Kenyan roads are full of speed humps. Hundreds of them. And rubbish. There is so much rubbish here. It's like an army of people laid an entire MCG sized rubbish dump over every square centimetre of ground. There are shanty towns, construction that has come to a halt and poverty everywhere. Kenya is Third World country and its confronting when you see it for the first time. All types of vehicles fight for the same place on the road, fires burn randomly all over the place and it smells. It smells like smoke and crap and pollution. Donkeys and goats are everywhere and dogs do as they please. People sell cooked corn on a stick or sell their wares from crude tin sheds. The towns that we pass through are the epitome of shit. It's a long rambling ruin of confusion and mud and desolation. And it works beautifully. Kenya is maybe the happiest place on earth. Everyone here grew up with what we are shocked at. They go about their daily business with pride in what they have. They dress immaculately, walk tall and never stop smiling. The women are stunning, the men are proud and the kids are gorgeous. We drove for a good hour or so before stopping at a market overlooking the Great Rift Valley. It's 80km's wide, stretches well over a 1000km's and is beautiful country. Like most places here, photos do it no justice. Driving down into the valley was another eye opener. There's trucks making their way back from Mombasa to Nairobi and on steep winding roads there's not much room for error. Cars overtake at any opportunity and blind corners, the crest of a hill or 30 tonnes of truck make no difference. It's kinda fun to be honest. Entering the valley is amazing. It opens out to vast fields of corn, wheat, barley and Acacia trees. Shanty towns come and go and if it isn't crops then it's rubbish everywhere again. We drove through the valley and eventually climbed out and headed into Narok. It's no different to any other place that we'd driven through but was the start of the rough trip to Masai Mara. And rough it was. The whole drive from there to Masai Mara was like a car crash. The guides refer to it as an "African massage". Lucky they never said it was a good one because that would be a complete lie. We got to the Lodge just after lunch and it was spectacular. The views aren't great, the rooms aren't great....it's just great though. It has that whole vibe about it. We went for a game drive at 4 in the arvo and saw wildlife straight away. Dwarf mongoose and Dik Dik, Impala and Gnu, Buffalo and giraffe, and lion..... Another wow! We saw one lioness first. And then the cubs. It was hard to take photos because it was all in front of us. The lioness had her eye on something that was out of our view and went on her way while the cubs watched on. The two way radio was going off and in a few seconds Benson was on the move. We parked up again about 750 metres down the road and watched on as the show unfolded. Two prides of lions had joined up and a buffalo had been taken down. They had it in a gully below us and, even though we couldn't see, we could hear it. We never saw the take down and we never saw the actual kill, but we knew where we were and what was happening. Our first day at Masai Mara was incredible and one we'll never forget.

Baby Jarffie at Masai Mara

Nairobi, Kenya

Thu, 12 May 2016 00:00:00 +0300

Guess what we did today? Nada. Nothing. Not a thing. We woke up at 8:45, dressed and went down to the pool. We sat there and read, drank tea and coffee and relaxed. Absolute bliss. We had a walk around Safari Park Hotel and took a few photos and then sat back down at the pool. Beers and wine followed while we recapped our last few hectic days. Our big safari starts tomorrow and we're pretty excited. Each day here brings something bigger and better and I don't think either of us have been happier for a long time. Kwa Heri.

FHT's.

The Hotel foyer.

Jarffie and Buffalo.

Looking over the pool towards the bar.

Safari Park Hotel.

Nairobi, Kenya

Wed, 11 May 2016 22:48:04 +0300

Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe

Wed, 11 May 2016 14:15:25 +0200

Waiting to go to Kenya.

Nairobi National Park, Kenya

Wed, 11 May 2016 12:00:00 +0000

Nairobi, Kenya

Wed, 11 May 2016 00:00:00 +0300

It's travel day! After a good nights sleep we woke fully refreshed and ready to get on the road again. A hearty breakfast was had and we said goodbye to the staff at Muchenje. We were transferred up to Kasane airport and switched vehicles to get up to the Botswanan border. Our driver was Walter and he was much like Paul. These guys had an honest passion for what they did and for the future of their country. It's fair to say that their attitude has rubbed off on us both. Exiting Botswana was the usual officialdom and stamping and disinterest but didn't take long. Walter dropped of us and we boarded the boat for the short trip across the Zambazi to Zambia. We hadn't even stepped foot in the country before two guys were hitting us up to buy all sorts of crap. We tried the "ol Australian Customs and wood/leather products" trick but these guys were good. They switched to copper straight away and started on that angle. We eventually got away from them but one of them must have worked out that Todd had lived in Darwin somehow. As we walked off he muttered under his breath, "See you NT". Too funny. Zambian immigration after that and then another vehicle transfer up to Livingston Airport. There must be a lot of building going on up there because everyone seems to be selling concrete. It's such a poverty stricken area but everyone is clean, well dressed and so, so happy. Most Africans are though and it's a nice change from people that are too tied up with material things back in Australia. We had a few hours to kill at the airport so we had a bite to eat and a few drinks before boarding. The flight out of Zambia was spectacular! The pilot crossed over Victoria Falls low and dipped his wings so we could get a great view of this natural wonder from the air. A quick leg over Zimbabwe to Harare and then finally up to Nairobi. Wow. We're in Kenya. Clearing Customs here sucks. Even though we had the proper papers before we left we still had to fill out "Form 47", get photographed and fingerprinted. We waited for our bags at Carousel "C" for ages while our bags probably did 20 laps back at "A". Ffs. Anyway, we finally got out and found our driver and headed off to the Safari Park Hotel which was an awesome 45 minute drive. Kenyan driving is simple. You accele-break and change lanes continuously and our driver was no doubt the 5 time Nairobian Champ at it. The oddest thing was though, you're charging through (or around) traffic on a 4 lane freeway and out of nowhere comes these great fucking speedhumps. We hit the hotel an hour early, checked in and had a couple of drinks. Travel day was over. Jambo Kenya.

Chobe National Park, Botswana